Sunday, March 14, 2010

CROSS TRAINING PROGRAM GOES AWRY

On the last day of Eastern Standard Time and the first day of Daylight Savings time for 2010, it seems I’ve discovered that my cross training program for the winter months has gone horribly, horribly wrong. It seems that my regimen of bend-overs and squats should have been implemented back in November or December rather than yesterday. I’ve been meaning to get to it, you see. I just never got around to it until yesterday. When I started I started with a bang.

My first session was 2 hours of intense bend-overs from the waist followed by some squats and “duck walks”. Given that I am a “multi-tasking master of a man”, I also threw in a number of right and left wrist squeezes during the session in order that I might more firmly grip the brakes when accomplishing intense descents from the mountain tops this season.

My plans to tack on a good ride after my cross training yesterday fell apart due to two factors:

  • 1) cold rainy weather moved into the area just as I was finishing hour two of my cross training
  • 2) I was so worn out from cross training, I probably couldn’t have thrown a leg over the bike if I’d tried.

Suffice it to say that I slept pretty well last night except for the muscle spasms of course. The sun took pity on me this morning and graciously waited an extra hour to top the peak of Mt. Pisgah and shine its welcoming rays into our bedroom. Well, I wanted to think that was what was happening but, of course, it was merely the governmental manipulation of time that gave me an extra hour of darkness.

I was going to pop right up this morning and get to DAY 2 of CROSS TRAINING. I realized that I really needed to compact my schedule as I was little late getting started this year. After wiping the sleep from my eyes, my brain sent the message “POP UP ‘O Mighty Body” to my legs. To which, a weak tweat came back from my left hamstring that went something like this… “you idiot! What did you do to me yesterday? I’ve been talking to your lower back muscles overnight and boy, just wait til you hear from them. There will be NO POPPING UP today, Dude!” I gathered the term “dude” was not used in a lovingly sort of Jeff Bridges way. Clearly, this morning the Dude DID NOT abide.

Finally, I managed to roll off of our “dial it up to your own number” bed and get to my feet. It was about then that my lower back muscles decided to “provide sufficient and timely alert of being angry”. It seems that the LBM’s (lower back muscles for those of you not in the know) had determined that part of my punishment for yesterday would be that I could not wear socks today. My LBM’s refused to allow me to bend over. Apparently, LBM’s are not social types or they would have realized that my loving “better half” was fully capable of putting my socks on my feet. Hah! Take that LBM’s and, hey, you the left hamstring – calm down!

After several cups of coffee and an almost perfectly cooked waffle at the now smoke-free Waffle House, we started Day 2 of Cross Training for Health and Improved Performance. I thought I’d work out some of that lactate acid by doing some more full waist toe touches and squats. I modified yesterday’s routine slightly by placing my left hand on my left knee while squatting and then lowering myself to my right knee with the use of my right hand. This worked quite well although I didn’t seem to be popping back up with quite the same vigor as yesterday.

Furthermore, given the decidedly late start on my cross training regimen this season, I thought it best to add some hydro therapy to the mix. Thusly, I held a wand in my hand from which gushed water at approximately 125 psi for an additional hour. In order to also work on eye/hand coordination during this drill, I kept the stream of water moving along a solid line of wood and concrete.

Just as I was wrapping up today’s cross training session and getting ready to head for the bike to get that ride in, yet more rain in the valley found us and its cousin snow was peppering the mountain tops yet again this season. As it turns out, we’re under another winter weather advisory for the next couple of days. This doesn’t bode well for any riding early this week. That’s o.k. though because I may need a couple of days to survive this crazy thing I call cross training.

Until later,

- Zeke

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